This time of the year always has me more aware of my mortality.  In the next few days, I have procedures and tests to see how healthy I am.  Since I live with Ulcerative Colitis, I get colonoscopies at least every other year and sometimes once a year.  The idea of those are worse than the actual procedure.  In fact, I sort of look forward to the sleep that process brings. The prep is another story.  I would not wish that on anyone.  When I get home, I spend the rest of the day with my cats seeing who can nap better. 

After going through that, I get to spend another couple of days at MD Anderson.  Last year I started going to the new facility nearby, so it is no longer an all-day venture of going to the Medical Center.  I do miss going to the Med Center and seeing my old friend Eugene who worked at MDA as an anesthesiologist, but now that time is gone into memory since he passed away late last year.  For about eight years during my visits to MDA, I would text him to maybe meet up if his schedule permitted.  I guess it was three years ago when I last saw him.  It is still sobering for me to think of him gone now.  I will see my old friend one day however, I know where he is.

Those of us who face cancer or are cancer survivors can look at life one of two ways.  Some say, “Why me?”  Others say, “Thank you God for all of my blessings” I fall into the latter category.  I always did from the moment I heard that the tumor on my kidney was cancer. The surgery on 15 September 2011 cleared me of cancer when part of my left kidney was cut out with clear margins. I have prayed many times that God would use my cancer to glorify Him. It has! I have been able to talk with some who were just told they have cancer facing their battle saying, ‘I have been on that gurney being prepped for surgery not knowing what will be of my life the next day.  Or even if there will be life as we know it on Earth.’ I have been able to be an encouragement when things looked so gloomy. Others encouraged me telling me of their cancer battles when I was facing mine.  They have since lost their battle.  I know where they are also.  It is tougher for us who remain than for them.  The two I am thinking of walked with God here and are now with Him in His presence.

I fully anticipate good results of the procedures and tests I face in the next few days. But if the news is bad, I know God Almighty has His hands around me.  I recall Billy Graham saying, "Someday you will read or hear that Billy Graham is dead. Don't you believe a word of it. I shall be more alive than I am now. I will just have changed my address. I will have gone into the presence of God."  I totally agree with what Billy Graham said and face life the same way, I know what my future holds. I am not home yet.

Today I am not feeling morbid, I just want to write that I face life with the reality everyone on Earth faces, we will die one day.  I pray I have decades left on this earth but who knows what the next day or hour holds for all of us. No one can say with certainty that tomorrow you will be breathing.  Only God can promise that. One thing I know for certain, that when my heart stops beating, I know I will see the face of God Almighty, Creator of all things.  You can have that assurance too, just like the thief on the cross next to Jesus; Ask Him to remember you and save you. That thief had no time to live or time to do any traditional rituals some say you must do to be saved.  All he could do is to say, “remember me”.  Jesus Himself responded, “Today you will be with me in paradise” 

I look forward for these tests and procedures to be finished and I can get back into the garage. I have a lot to do.